"The Pants Ring Motor Bowl".
So, you get frustrated by running at Monaco, eh? Eh? We laugh at you!! Muahahahahahahahahaaaa! 
Try the Pants Ring! This is not a serious effort. It's fun. Don't complain or ask, we'll just laugh louder.

 

 

GPLEA track screenshots

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HISTORY
.It was in 1906 that Otto von Pantz the legendary Zeppelin racer, part time chicken molester and heir to the huge Pantz sauerkraut fortune decided that he needed somewhere to keep his large collection ladies underwear. He designed a magnificent domed building in which his collection (specialising in corsets for the larger woman) could be displayed to their best effect.

Otto von Pantz (1875-1912). He died following a tragic accident involving an oversized rubber brassiere.

Sadly at this point Otto made a big mistake, he employed the Ballzup brothers to construct the Dome. Identical twin brothers Herman and Adolf Ballzup's only recommendation was that they worked cheap. For some reason Otto disappeared for a year, I have tried to find out what happened at this time but the local newspapers of the period were full of the story that the recent spate of thefts of the saddles from women's bicycles had mysteriously stopped and I could find no details of Otto.

Adolf Ballzup, despite extensive research I have been unable to find a picture of his identical twin Herman so I have no idea what he looked like.

As construction of the Dome began Otto's sudden disappearance meant that nobody noticed that during construction the Ballzup brothers were holding the plans upside down. Therefore on his return Otto was devastated to find instead of his beautiful Dome he had a large Bowl instead. Broken hearted at the end of his dreams Otto joined the local St Mary's Nunnery where he later became Mother Superior.

It is now that Richard Head (known to his family as Dick) enters our story, living in the dark, uncivilised East of England it was his ambition to win a place in the Guinness Book of Records for cooking the World's largest pork pie. In the early 1950's he saw an advertisement for a large Bowl In The Times newspaper. The descendants of Otto von Pantz being desperate to get rid of this reminder of their Grandfathers folly dismantled the Pantzring (as locals had now began to call it) and had it shipped to Norfolk in England. When Richard Head had finished reassembling the Pantzring he realised that after the expense of buying the 'ring, having it shipped to England and rebuilding it there was no way that he could fill it with an estimated 27,346 pigs, never mind the 173 tons of flaky pastry in order to achieve his dream of the World's largest pork pie. Sadly another dream in tatters and the Pantzring was left to fall into disuse.

A young Dick Head, with dreams of pork pies in his head.

It is now that Philip Aloysius Rover (his parents wanted a dog) Flack enters the story. On one particular day Fate was to play a strange trick on rosy cheeked young Phil. On hearing a rumour that the beer at his local pub was poisoned, Phil felt it was his public duty to drink as much of this contaminated ale as possible to remove the risk to anyone else. After an entire evening of saving his fellow Norfolkians from a potential early death Phil was making his rather unsteady way home when he had to make what can only be politely described as a "pit stop". On finishing what had to be done Phil lost his footing and found himself sliding down a steep bank, on arrival at the bottom he thought a brief nap was needed. When he awoke some three days later with Metallica performing a concert inside his head, his legs feeling as if they were made of rubber and an horrendous case of explosive diarrhea ("Aha" thought Phil "so the beer was poisoned"), young Flack was amazed to find himself in a large Bowl, heavily overgrown and in a bad state of disrepair. Filled with enthusiasm (and more beer) Phil dedicated himself over the following months to restore Pantsring (with its new English spelling) to its former glory so that all we GPL players could enjoy this wonderful experience.

I think we all send out a vote of thanks to Otto von Pantz, Dick Head and our own Track Guru for this wonderful experience.

 Young Master Flack in a moment of quiet relaxation.

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